Intellectual Nonsense

List | 30

I'm compiling a list of things I want to do before I turn 30. I have a couple so far.

1. I want to learn to knit/sew: I actually have a brand new sewing machine but never have attempted to use it. I have lots of creative ideas that I would love to explore with that machine..... I just get really intimidated and make lots of excuses when it comes to actually tackling it. But this year is going to be the year I pull it down out of the attic and finally create something (anything) with it.

2. I desperately want to re-visit Hawaii. I love the Hawaiian islands. So, I am hoping that Jeremiah and I can manage a trip around my birthday. Something about going back to where we honeymooned just seems so whimsical and romantic.

3. I want to take a photography class. I have a brand new SLR camera but very little knowledge on how to use the dang thing. It's a shame to have that nice of a camera and not know all the functions/capabilities. My ultimate goal would be to NEVER use the 'auto' button again.

4. Lose another 10 pounds. Seems to always be on my list but I am determined.... especially if I am going back to Hawaii.

5. And this one is going to sound silly but I want to read some classics. Specifically, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, To Kill a Mockingbird, Great Expectations, Little Women, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, and The Great Gatsby. Okay, so let's be real I still have to read my regular fluff and my book club reads so hopefully between all that I can at least read two or three of these classics, right?

and #6. I would love to be able to road trip down Highway 101 and see the California Redwoods.

Since I will be 30 in June I am sure that I won't be able to fulfill all of these goals/adventures but I am sure going to try....  

High School Sweethearts

Jeremiah and I celebrated our 7th anniversary on the 3rd of this month. It seems surreal sometimes that we have been married that long. It's been a journey at times that seemed more work then fun; but through all the not so fun times and all the amazing happy times, I would still choose to have Jeremiah be the person who went on this crazy adventure with me. Cliche? Sure, but completely true.

We actually started dating in High School, if you can believe it? Yep, Jr year. Funny thing about how we met (and I will never forget this), my good friend at the time, Paul, told me that I should meet the new guy "he's pretty cool, plays soccer, kind of goofy- nice guy". I was game because I had seen him walking the halls and thought he was pretty darn HOT! Tall, slender built (a little too skinny- looking back), had these cute little ears that stuck out, dark eyes/hair, athletic and mysterious (later found out that was him being smug/cocky). That afternoon Paul and I walked over to Jeremiah's locker where he was taking out his books for his next class, Paul said something like "Hey Dude, wanted you to meet my friend Heidi (points at me); Heidi this is Jeremiah, Jeremiah this is Heidi". I smiled and said "Hey, nice to meet you". His response to the introduction was shocking. A I'mtoogoodforyou head nod. No, "Hey, nice too meet you too" or "Hi". Nope. Just a tilt of the head and a smug whatever look.

I was pissed. I thought to myself what a freaking jerk. Hated him! Avoided him at all costs....I was not about to inflate his ego by trying to be his friend.

It wasn't until he started pursuing my best friend did I talk to him again. And boy, was he even more annoying. He would constantly poke fun trying desperately to get under my skin. He was cocky and full of himself. Everything was a joke. He would lick the windows of my car and leave trash in the back seat; knowing full well that I took pride in my clean car. He had nicknames for me and constant jabs in his repertoire for my idiosyncrasies. I would find out later that he was secretly flirting with me. Loving how I reacted and the way that I could take and dish sarcasm.

We did have one thing in common (thank goodness). We were both Christians. Ultimately that is what sparked our relationship. We would attend a bible study together; carpooling and hanging out afterward. I started to madly fall head over heels for him and I knew he had some mad feeling for me as well. There was just two things standing in our way. We both had other relationships.

When we finally starting dating it felt so natural and easy. He was already my close friend so we fell into a rhythm with ease. Yes, we were young punks; a green 16 year old and a cocky 17 year old but I was dating my best friend, how could it get better? He always had me giggling and feeling like I was on top of the world. Never a dull moment in our courtship; always on the pursuit of a new adventure together. It wasn't long after our initial first date that we both knew we were in love.

Five years later Jeremiah proposed to me. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And now, seven years later we have two kids, a mortgage and a passionate relationship. Of course there were naysayers back then; scoffing at the 22 year olds taking the plunge. But we are proof it works. Proof that two punk kids can fall in love and create a beautiful life together.

And I wouldn't change a thing.

July

Where the heck did July go?

We have been crazy busy. Summer for us is always a constant go, go, go. I'm not complaining. I actually like to see the calendar full; there's always something to look forward to.

So here is a little ketchup catching up:

Owen is now 6 months old. He's pounding solids. Which is fine and dandy but goodness, the kid just has a hollow leg. He is getting stronger, trying to sit up but he has a hard time resisting gravity with that big noggin'. Rolling over he has pretty much mastered. However, rolling from his stomach to his back tends to be the most difficult feat. He recently moved into new digs. Yep, sharing a room with his big bro. No more cradle. Fynn never once complained. It's definitely tight quarters but we are making it work. Oh, and the cutest thing right now is that Owen has also found his thumb. He has been sucking his left thumb now and again. Mostly at night but exactly like his older brother- it's uncanny. If he starts grabbing at his shirt with his right hand though I might be a little freaked out.

Speaking of his older brother, Fynn is sassier then ever. I challenge someone to find me a more stubborn, strong-willed, sarcastic, defiant three year old. Seriously, try. I am betting it's nearly, if not, impossible. I love the dude to the moon and back but there are times where I think to myself "Is duct taping a kid to the wall abuse?". Ok, kidding aside, Fynn has learned to push buttons, run a mile with an inch, take advantage of situations (ie. public places), mock relentlessly and walk extremely fine lines all while being the smartest, wittiest and cutest little dude you ever did meet. And it's a good thing otherwise you might find him taped to the wall. 

Jeremiah and I have been working out together, which is nice but it's also very humbling. Humbling, because I feel like such a wimp trying to keep up with him. Which is silly, because really?  I had a baby six months ago and I wasn't in the most pristine shape before I got pregnant, plus Jeremiah is naturally stronger, bigger and more athletic then I am (or ever will be), so let's just say I am not at all in his league right now. He doesn't expect me to keep up either. I am just so beyond out of shape it's on the cusp of being depressing. It's so much easier to gain then it is to lose - which I find unfair and frustrating. But what we are doing is working and I am feeling better*. I just find myself wanting results faster.... say by tomorrow? Sweet, thanks that would be perfect.

We have lots of home improvement projects that have been put off because we're not home often enough, plus the weather is just too dang fantastic to waste it on refinishing the deck or repainting the trim. Yes, it needs to be done but the lake/camping/hiking/swimming/smore roasting/road tripping/sun frolicking keeps beckoning. And we can't resist!

That's that for now. I had a couple weird experiences that I will post about later...

*Well, except for the swimming suit wearing. Who the hell really feels completely at ease in a swimming suit anyway? There are also the days where I feel like my belly will never shrink, I have nothing to wear, and ohmygawdIneedahaircutIlooklikemedusa days, and why can't I be the naturally skinny chick.... blah, blah, same 'ol same 'ol. I am pretty convinced that this will be my constant battle. I annoy myself sometimes with my insecurities. I am not at all on a quest for perfection as it may seem.... I just want to be more comfortable in my skin and maybe fit into my clothes. Or, I don't know, have clothes that fit and feel like a million bucks in them. That's it.

Two Nine

I'm turning 29 tomorrow. For real 29.

I'm officially that age that everyone pretends they are. I really don't have a problem with getting older or even eventually turning thirty - it's the holy crap I'm not going to be in my 20's anymore that kind of unnerves me a little. It's the I should have my sh*t together age yet somehow I feel like a kid still.

Yes, I'm married. I have kids. I have a mortgage and a job. I even have some gray hair but for goodness sake I don't consider myself a full-fledged adult. No way. And you know what, I want it to stay that way. I embrace the getting older and the responsibilities that life has brought forth but I refuse to let age define me. I am going to hang onto my youthfulness as much as I can. Heck, I can still say that I am in my late 20's.

Wow! I really am 29. Geez. It's amazing how fast time just speeds by.

I am so grateful for my life. For these past 28 years. Thank you Lord for blessing me with a loving family, for an amazing/passionate/obstinate/challenging/hawt husband, for two beautiful/flawless little munchkins, for wonderful/meaningful friendships, for opportunities and adventures, for my health and provision for my life. I am always so overwhelmed with the amount of blessing that is poured out on me.

And I know this year won't be any different. Looking forward to my 29th adventure!

                               

Confession

I watch "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here".

Yep, I said it.

Natural

Before Jeremiah and I were even married I knew he would be a fantastic father. Little did I know he would far surpass just fantastic.

                                 

This is going to sound really cheesy and I don't mean to diminish or discredit him by any means but Jeremiah is truly a natural when it comes to being a "Daddy". My heart just swells with pride when I see him with our sons. I can see how much he honestly and purely loves his kids- with passion and zeal- apparent by his actions and words.

Jeremiah is basically a kid at heart himself; his playful spirit is a magnet for our boys. There is nothing like the giggle fest/wrestling match that ensues in our house every evening when Daddy gets home from work! It's awesome.    

I am blessed to have a husband that appreciates and respects me as a wife/friend/mother, someone who works dang hard to provide for us, who helps out with EVERYTHING (and I mean everything- cleaning, cooking, diapers, baths, feeding etc.), who shows genuine affection and compassion toward us and who would go to the ends of the earth to see us happy.    

I thought I loved him beyond measure before we had kids but now that I get to see him as a father I have fallen more in love with him then ever.

Pet Peeve #431

I'm putting it out there. I am super annoyed when people don't respond to text messages, emails, voicemails or other social networking communications. I mean, really? How hard is it to take 2 minutes to reply? Even to just say "Hey I am super busy... let me get back to you." I pride myself in my responding abilities. It's a respect thing for me. If you took the time to call me, leave me a message etc. I will also take the time to respond back to you in a timely fashion because I respect you. Yes, there are times when it is impossible not to reply immediately but to just straight up and ignore someone is just plain 'ol rude. Especially now a days when you know people have their phones attached to their hips. What's the excuse there? Of course everyone has the right not to answer the phone right when it rings or text immediately after receiving a message, however, it is polite to eventually acknowledge someones attempt to communicate with you. Don't ya think?

So there you have it. My beef for the week. Yep. If you are a bad responder.... guaranteed I have been irked by your nonresponsive-ness.

PS. This also includes Pet Peeve #267. People who don't rsvp to event invitations. Don't even get me started on that one.

Dumb

I totally got myself all psyched up over a house that I randomly found on craigslist.... seriously, if Jeremiah and I could afford it I would move into it tomorrow.

I have very specific criteria that must be met for my next house. After living in this abode for almost 7 years I know exactly what I want the next time around. Except for it isn't the right time for the "next time around". So, I'm not sure why I continue to sit here gushing over it and dreaming about owning it. Ugh.

What makes it worst is that this house far exceeds my "criteria".... man, I wish we we're in the right place financially or were first time home buyers right now!!

Why do I torture myself and look through the real estate ads any way?

I can't stop with this one though! I literally have looked at it a million times. And I might have emailed the agent to get more info. You know... just to fuel the fire of my torture a little more.

So DUMB! So, so dumb!

Transplanting Fat Fantasy

I'm still on a quest to lose weight. It's a constant battle. I envy the girls that complain about not being able to gain weight. I mean, really? What a horrible life having to gain weight. If there were fat transplants I would be the first in line to share my extra buh-dunk-a-dunk with them. I have plenty to share/spare.

I'm at that dreaded plateau. Nothing seems to be working. So, what do I want to do? Yep, eat a stack of double stuff oreos- that should make me feel better, right? It's the instant gratification that I crave.  Not just with the sweets but with the working out/eating healthier. I want to see results. NOW!

Yesterday at work I went to go put my lunch in the refrigerator but before I even made it halfway through the kitchen I smelled them. Them being donuts. Five boxes of glorious mouth watering donuts. I swear, it was like I had stepped into a torture chamber. It took a lot of convincing myself that it just wasn't worth it. But the smell... oh, the smell. Mmmm. I thought about just licking one.... 

                                       

Ok, so I am not that obsessed. But it seems like when you are doing so well and trying your best to stay away from foods such as donuts they appear constantly.  Tempting you with their sweet aroma, mocking you with that glistening sugar.... I need a dose of will-power. Everyday I have to remind myself that the end result is well worth the temporary "torture". It's not as if I am depriving myself of anything. I am just trying to make better choices and move more. I can't do diets. I can't do pills. And I sure in the heck can't do the whole binge/purge thing either (not that I would ever consider that). I like food too much to eliminate all the fun stuff. Who wants to just eat celery and carrots all day? Not me. Actually no one wants me to. I would not be a very happy camper.

We all have our battles. I know this. And even if it is something I think would be a blessing rather than a curse (having to gain weight) it kind of sucks. It would just be easier if it were easier. Screw the fab diets, miracle pills and equipment gimmicks. They don't work. As much as I have fantasied about taking some magic pill and being thin the next day, I know that it isn't going to happen.

I'm a work in progress. Slowly but surely I will get the results I need/want. It's just hard. Plain and simple. Hard work.

Speaks volumes

“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

- Yogi Berra