Intellectual Nonsense

Munchkin

Here I sit the eve of your birth and I am flooded with emotions. I am extremely excited to finally set eyes on you: to hear your cry, kiss your cheeks, to hold you and love all over you, to smell your head, to feel your flesh against mine. I am just thrilled to finally meet you. Of course I have a little bit of anxiety and nervousness running through me. And of course the weird feeling of being sad that I am no longer pregnant-There is just something so reassuring about feeling those kicks and punches in my belly. But it is time and we are eager. I just pray that someday we live up to your expectations; that you see our hearts in the way that we raised you. That someday you will be proud to call me your Mama. I want nothing more in life than to see you fulfilled, healthy and happy.

Owen-Your name means young warrior or well born and I have a feeling that you will be just that: Strong willed, determined, passionate, fair, bright and hopefully have that little streak of sarcasm in there somewhere. I am so eager to see what you will be like to see what that little personality will bring to our family. No matter what I know you'll be a perfect addition to our little family; that missing link.

This journey has been long but the reward is beyond sweet. We look forward to welcoming you home. Fynn is excited to be a big brother and of course your Daddy and I feel so blessed to have you as a son. We love you munchkin. See you tomorrow.

All our love,

Mama

Sunday Stylin'

Idea!

There should be a service that one could call upon right before the birth of a child that would finish up all the odds and ends that somehow have warped into my crazy pregnancy brain to be SO freaking important.

Such as:

• Deep clean the kitchen floor
• Vacuum the couch cushions and whatever lives between them
• Clean all the blinds and windows in the house (thankfully Jeremiah took care of this for me)
• Purge all things (seriously... I have trashed so much junk)
• Give the dog a bath
• Remove nail polish
• Wash every baby item with Dreft (love the smell)
• Buy new miniature toiletries for my hospital bag
• Clean out the fridge
• Go grocery shopping
• Clean up F's haircut
• Re-organize every closet
• Re-organize the garage/laundry/mud room (ha! this one won't happen)
• Buy new shower curtain and tub mat
• Scrub the crap out of every surface in the house
• Dust, dust, dust
• Repaint toe nails
• Wash the garbage can (yes, I did this)
• Clean out the car
• Finish Fynn's baby book (okay, so I wouldn't want a service to do this)

The list could go on and on.....

Head butting and babies!

I never imagined what it would feel like to have my crotch continuously head butted. But now I know. And boy, it just feels [Insert major sarcasm] fantastic!

Standing up, rolling over in bed, getting in or out of the car, walking; basically all normal everyday tasks have proved to be quite difficult lately. The sweet little baby I am carrying is giving me a run for my money already. I guess that is what I get for choosing a name that means 'young warrior'.

Other then the crotch issue I am feeling okay. I haven't been getting much sleep which is frustrating but the same thing happened when I was pregnant with my first little munchkin. I do sneak in a nap here and there when I can so I can't complain too much. My excitement is definitely building as the day draws closer. It really is surreal that I can literally count down the days before he arrives. I'm eager to see his little face, hold him, smooch on him, have him grasp my fingers, hear his cooing and of course smell his head. All those lovely things that I am forgetting about having a newborn.  

Did I mention my BFF, Jen had her baby a week ago? Avery Joy. And let me tell you the kid is beautiful! Jen is one of those pregnant people that you love to hate though. She really had a flawless pregnancy and then ended up giving birth to a 9lb 12oz little girl after 20 minutes of pushing. Totally envious! It was so awesome to see my best friend as a mommy for the first time. You could just see the joy in her face when she looked at her brand new daughter. Both her and her husband are going to be fantastic parents. And someday I will be Avery's mother in-law. It will be great!

What's on my mind

With pregnancy comes chaos of the mind (at least for me). My mind literally does not shut down. It fires from one thing to the other, with no relation-complete randomness and mostly unnecessary mumbo-jumbo. It's quite exhausting; hence a reason for my insomnia too.

I thought I would just jot down some of my chaos (in no logical order):

1. Gawd, it's nice out. I should go for a run. Wait! That's right- I am 38 weeks pregnant. Ha!
2. What will it be like to actually see experience the birth of my child?
3. Will I be in as much pain with this cesarean?
4. Why on earth am I still working?
5. I should go to the dentist
6. I need to pack a hospital bag
7. If my shutterfly order doesn't show up soon I might go ape on someone.
8. I can't wait to meet Avery (my BFF's daughter to be-at any moment)
9. Must remember to pick up some pull-ups! Almost out
10. Need to get the kid a Big Brother present- SOON!
11. I really hope people give me some space after "O" is born. I really don't want a revolving door like last time. Hello people I am having surgery!
12. Can't wait to have left overs tonight
13. I don't want to get old
14. Need to get a pedicure
15. Lilly is driving me to an early grave
16. Need to install the baby carseat
17. The interior of the car needs to be cleaned
18. I'm hungry
19. Need to research a photography class
20. Hemorrhoids suck
21. I bet "O" will look nothing like "F" (I am just preparing myself)
22. I can't wait for summer
23. I miss Kauai (this time last year I was there)
24. Need to nap
25. Should wash the living room windows and blinds
26. Am I capable of being a mom of two?
27. Holy crap, I am going to have a baby in less then two weeks.
28. I am totally going to get back in shape fast for summer (this is me being REALLY optimistic)
29. Is "F" going to transition okay with a new munchkin in the house?
30. I need a nap
31. Oooo, I should re-organize the Laundry room
32. I miss my grandpa's
33. My bladder is not a trampoline! (talking to the belly)
34. Maybe I should establish visiting hours for when I get home from the hospital?
35. My back aches
36. Geez, my belly is ginormous!
37. Jeremiah needs to hurry up and get home from work.
38. I can't wait to smell "O" - is that weird?
39. Holy crap, I am going to have two sons! Plus a husband and a dog... I am doomed.
40. My butt hurts from sitting on this hard chair!

The Curse

I am pretty sure I posted about this with my first pregnancy.... Insomnia is not my friend. Repeat: Insomnia can suck it. I really don't understand how my body can be so exhausted but for some reason my brain will not close shop and let me sleep. It's extremely frustrating. So, I am up. It's 4 in the morning; Jeremiah, the munchkin and even the dog are snoozing away peacefully. And yet, the one that is probably the most tired out of all of us is wide awake.

The one plus side of round two is that I am only working part-time so the chances of me lounging on the couch in my sweats until noon are pretty high. No rushing around like a zombie trying to get ready for work on time like yesterday morning.

I do have a lunch date with my BFF this afternoon (who I might add is 41 weeks pregnant). I am actually hoping she cancels on me and I get to visit a new little sweet pea in the hospital. But so far no call or text. I think I might sneak castrol oil into her drink this afternoon (kidding).

Okay, off to lay in bed and at least pretend to be sleeping...

Testing.....

It's been a year. One full year since I last posted.

There is a lot of catching up to do. But basically I wanted to get my fingers wet again with a post and see how this here blog felt again. I'll admit it feels a little rough around the edges.

I am apprehensive of course..... it's responsibility that I am not quite sure I am ready for (or have the time for) but with an impending baby due at the end of the month I feel like it's time once again to capture my thoughts, perspectives and emotions - bottle them all up right here in a little web memory book.

No promises...